Catch and Release DATING…Whoops I Forgot to RELEASE

This is an illustration of comparing the act of fishing with the process of dating. Please understand this in that frame of mind while you are reading this blog.

Pick a rod and a reel; make sure it’s a good one, because you never know what you might catch. This one should do for now, so what if it won’t cast deep enough, there are fish everywhere in theses waters. Hmm I don’t have the kind of bait I would rather use. It’s alright though because sometimes they aren’t that picky. Okay, time to cast…maybe I should have worked on my form a little more. I will just leave the hook there for a moment.

Oh my goodness, is that a bite? Wow this is so exciting! I start to wonder what is on the end of my line. So what if the pole was all wrong, the bait was cheap, and I cast in bad waters. I’ve got a bite!

Wow this one is being pulled in really easily. I could catch em like this all the time. How easy was this! Let’s see what I’ve got. Well this is interesting…this isn’t exactly what I wanted, but I did catch something. Maybe I should just hold on to this one for a while as I see what else is out there.

This time I’m a little more motivated to get the right one, so I’m going to pick a better pole. Okay its taking a little longer, I’m not sure I like this waiting. Ah…I knew it would come, let’s pull this one in. Hey its better that the first, I’m sure it will taste better too. Although this still isn’t exactly what I need. The more the merrier though, right?

Let's see I have a couple different types now and I’ve only worked a little bit. What if I still take it easy and cast over in the same spot. It feels good to have the attention and to get some sore of results, whether or not they are what I want. Wow this one I’m reeling in is even looks like what I want. Except for the harsh spikes on its sides. I haven’t gotten hurt yet, so why not add this to my net. Ouch! That made me bleed, but it shouldn’t make that bad of a scar.

Well, I’m getting tired. So what if I don’t have what I want or need, I do have something. How about I just take these home with me and work with them for a while.

Oh it feels so good to have gotten a catch! These are so fun to have around right now. I know nothing will ever become of them, but they do fill some sort of void. Hopefully they aren’t suffering form being out of the water so long, while I figure out if they will work. I mean they’ve got to be having fun because I am.

Man that last one hurt me again. I swear I’m gonna get rid of it, but sometimes it’s still nice to have it around, even if it hurts. I’m doing alright with theses occupying my time. Do I really need to go fishing again? But it’s nice to just relax, even though I know better.

Maybe I didn’t even take one of the catches off the line. If I’m just “stringing” this one along. If that is the case, how do I expect to even cast out my line again? I truly believe that until I release those catches my relationship needs will not be fulfilled because I am providing a substitute or distraction.

I’ve been dating like this, on and off, for almost two years now. It finally hit me though. I was looking in the wrong places, with the wrong motives. The guys I was dating were not right for me; they just felt right at the time. Worst of all, I never let them truly go. They were almost out of my life, and then I would shoot them some form of communication to draw them back.

Many times I thought that this behavior wouldn’t hurt me. Sometimes it didn’t, but many times it did. There are some emotional scares too. And all of this came from just making the wrong attempts to catching, catching the wrong ones, and also not releasing right away. Even when I knew better.

I hope that this illustration not only continues to help me as I begin to release, but also helps others toss back the poor fits in their lives. So that we can be healed and able to make a good catch in our dating lives.

Keyboard Peckers

I have had it up to here ^ with people who look away from the computer screen while typing. Do they not realize how much time they waste, how many mistakes they make, and how unprofessional it looks?

I'm sure they have their excuses and reasons for pecking, but that is exactly what they are: excuses and reasons. Those are not solutions to the problem. One of the seasoned "keyboard peckers" I know, even plays the piano with grace and poise. So it's not like she is inable to learn.

The worst part of it all, is I had keyboarding with a girl who only had 2 fingers on one of her hands, and she still did it.

So come on people, suck it up and figure out where your fingers should go, and type!

I Still Have a Lifetime

Have I lived a meager existence? It hit me about how little I had actually done in life thus far. Sure I went to college, have done some traveling, and worked at a couple of resume building jobs. But as I sat there, talking with my boss, there a little envy in my blood stream.

She has countless travel experiences and a resume that goes on for miles. Why couldn’t I have that already? Almost all my trips and jobs are meager in comparison. Then to top it off she also has two grown children and a successful 30 year long marriage. What would it feel like to be in that stage of life?

Whoa! Hold on Summer. You aren’t even 25 yet (not for a little over a month anyway). You haven’t even lived long enough to do half of those things.

I’m not sure, if in the grand scheme of things, I’ve accomplished all the things I should have. I know I have messed up my walk with Christ. Thankfully my journey is not over. There will still be more opportunities. More times to share, more times to travel, to work, and to experience.

There are a few stamps in my passport of the United States and at least a 2 page resume. So maybe the rest of the stuff is just more to look forward to, for the future. There have been some opportunities to share God’s love. Although, I haven’t taken enough of them, and I sure hope there is more. After all, I still have the rest of my life, God’s not done with me yet.

80 Days and Counting

How do you truly wait for God’s timing? Especially when you’re talking about a relationship?

I’ve went through phases myself; faithful and waiting, impatient and pushing, and proactive and forcing. That wasn’t God though, that was me. I was not in tune with what He wanted. Part of the time, I honestly didn’t even care.

So I did my own thing, dated who I wanted and invested in guys that would never lead to a relationship. Sure my time was filled; but God, my friends, and I knew I was just goofing around, for the most part. I was “kissing frogs” so to speak.

I liked it though. Even frogs can be fun to kiss. I truly wish I could kiss one right now. It is even more enticing when compared to kissing nothing at all. The problem lies in the deception of kissing frogs. I wasn’t created for that purpose and God wants much better for me.

With God’s Help, I don’t kiss frogs anymore. I have to emphasize that God is helping because I couldn’t do it on my own. Not for one day or minute in some cases.

That leads me to my current status. 80 days and counting. 11.43 weeks of having God given will power. 1920+ hours of resisting the urge to find m old familiar habits. It has not been an easy river to navigate. However, now I have 1440 minutes a day to allow God to work in my life without amphibian distractions. Most importantly, I allow God to help me continue counting until I reach the number that He has set aside. Not the lily pad that I got frustrated enough to stop at on my own.

My newest struggle

Sometimes I wonder about the person I am. I know myself well, almost too well. That is why I wonder if I can truly settle on anything or anyone. I love variety and I love change. I can find that in my workplace no problem. But when it comes to atmosphere and people, well, I know why I travel so much. I need a change of scenery and I love meeting new people.

This can be good and bad. I mean I never settle but I’m also never set. I can’t have one really amazing friend and keep it at that. I love all of my amazing friends and they each fill their specific spots in my life and I don’t know what I would do without each of them. But see you can’t have more than one man. I’m not talking about guy friends I’m talking about one boyfriend at a time, one true love, and eventually ONE guy to marry and spend the rest of my life with. Is it possible?

That is what I question. Can I really be committed to the one, kiss only that one, share my most intimate relationship with only him. I mean to this point I have even settled down enough to only be “talking to” or “dating” one guy at a time. (I’m really not a player, I just have issues). How do I cross that line of commitment to only one and not feel like I am losing out on all the variety that is out there?

Currently I have no man and am dating no one. That is probably a good thing because I really need to get this sorted out.

You suck, now quit

We do lots of things in life repeatedly: shower, eat, communicate, and learn. Then there are those things that we do that we consider talents or learned activities. Those can be many different things. The activities that we consider talents, usually have a great deal of time and/or effort invested in them.

So what if something we thought we were actually really good at doing, turned out to be something we had no skill at all doing.

Or what if we found out we aren't good at doing something we really enjoy.

Would we still do it?

For example: Cooking ( I promise, this is not a real life story, just an example for explanation purposes. I have been known to be a pretty decent cook.) What if someone thought they were a great cook and they did it all the time? Then they found out one day that they kinda sucked.

What do you think they would or should do?

Synchronicity

Synchronicity is the experience of two or more events which occur in a meaningful manner, but which are causally inexplicable to the person or persons experiencing them. The events would also have to suggest some underlying pattern in order to satisfy the definition of synchronicity as originally developed by Swiss psychologist Carl Jung.

Carl Jung coined the word to describe what he called "temporally coincident occurrences of acausal events." Jung variously described synchronicity as an "'acausal connecting principle'" (i.e. a pattern of connection that cannot be explained by direct causality), "meaningful coincidence" and "acausal parallelism". Jung introduced the concept in his 1952 paper "Synchronicity — An Acausal Connecting Principle", though he had been considering the concept for almost thirty years.[1]It differs from mere coincidence in that synchronicity implies not just a happenstance, but an underlying pattern or dynamic expressed through meaningful relationships or events.

It was a principle that Jung felt encompassed his concepts of archetypes and the collective unconscious [2], in that it was descriptive of a governing dynamic that underlay the whole of human experience and history — social, emotional, psychological, and spiritual.

Jung believed that many experiences perceived as coincidence were not merely due to chance but, instead, suggested the manifestation of parallel events or circumstances reflecting this governing dynamic. [3]

***I have been experiencing this a lot in my life, synchronicity that is. Although Jung might have believed the more humanistic realities were involved, I believe it shows us once again that God has an order and pattern for everything in our lives.***

Why can’t Christians stay up til 5 a.m.?

When was the last time you saw the sun rise? It seems that being a Christian means to some people that staying up to "ungodly" hours is a sin. That if you see the sun come up in the morning you have been out doing something inappropriate. I would like to disagree. I am in my twenties and I love to stay up late! I can't really remember the last time I went to bed before 10pm.
I find it difficult, though, to find other Christians willing to stay up the same hours and therefore a lack of activities to participate in. I mean just because I am a Christian shouldn't mean that I can't have fun somewhere after midnight. When was the last time you heard of a Bible study that lasted until 3am or a singles ministry event that didn't end until sunrise? Why not? Are Christians the type of people who never stay up that late?
It doesn't make sense to me to make the assumption that once Jesus is your savior that trait disappears. After all, consider the amount of cash flow nightlife brings in all the time. Obviously there are people who are just wired to go, go, go. Can we not use that feature and apply it to a ministry? I am sure we can. I know, I know…my grandma too said, "Nothing good happens after midnight." But something in me also remembers the life changing decisions made at youth lock-ins that lasted until, heaven forbid, the next morning.
So I am wondering now, are there any Christians out there that are wired like me and not ready to hit the sack after the last newscast of the night? Anyone out there that would like to discuss the book of Daniel until the sun rises? I'm hoping that there are and that maybe, one day, we can hang out and enjoy the fact that sleep can still be seriously overrated, even if we are Christians.

"Busy"-ness is a Matter of Perspective

Too many times we use being "busy" as an excuse. It seems to be the ultimate excuse for Americans. Whether it is to avoid responsibilities, spending time with friends, volunteering, living a healthier life, or spending time with God; we can seem to be too "busy" for these things.

In all truthfulness what do we call being "busy?" Could it be the television? Maybe it's the time we waste on the internet. Some people may even call it "me" time. I agree, sometimes those things are necessary. Truly though aren't those selfish excuses for not doing what is necessary or proper?

Other human beings are out there lonely, hurting, and needing help. Our heavenly Father beckons us to spend time with Him. Our friends are missing out on a relationship with us that could be vital in their life. So I urge you, next time you use the word "busy" check the context in which you are using it.