Maybe We Just Have a Different Understanding of Friendship

I was recently talking to one of my “soul sisters” about my frustration with some of my newer friendships.

See I’m still new to my current location and making and having friends here is vital to my survival. Especially since there isn’t any family around for me to cling to.

Not only do I need friends to feel connected with this area, I also need them because I am an extrovert. I hate to say it, but I need people. I get my energy and zest for life from them, God designed me like this. The energy thing is a bonus for both of us. I get pumped up and so do they, when we hang out. Something I know, from personal experience. Both parties end up being grateful that we hung out.

Knowing this about myself, I search for similar people to become my friends. People who like to hang out, have fun, be adventurous, and stay in contact. This worked great when I was in college and those friends will be in my life forever, I couldn’t be more thankful for that!

Since college though, it has been a lot harder finding good quality friendships. Or at least one’ where they and I agree upon what a friendship actually is.

• See to me, a friend hangs out with you on a regular basis (this I believe is where our definitions vary the most, my newer “friends” don’t truly know what it is to make plans or to hang out on a regular basis…this is soooooooo frustrating to me!!!)

• Next, a friend to me, checks up on their friends. Yeah I actually mean that we will call or leave a message at least once during the week. I don’t know how you can learn stuff about each other without this element. Its one thing for my forever friends and I to not communicate for a couple of weeks because we know each other. It’s another thing for my new found friend to drop off the face of the earth.

• Friends answer back in a timely manner. I understand not everyone keeps their cell phone around as if it were their pacemaker, but check it at least once a day. Like if I ask if you wanna go and you can’t, at least give me an answer. I can handle no…it’s a whole lot better than nothing at all. Also, if I ask you how you are doing in a message, it is because I care. It also means I would like us to talk sometime soon, just for the heck of it. Please get back to me. I already get back to you in a timely manner.

• Oh and being a friend also means you too can take the initiative to hang out. It doesn’t matter to me if you think I might be too busy. Most of the time I am just filling up my life with crap because of the lack of friends. Ask my soul sisters, I will rearrange my schedule at the drop of a hat if it means I will get to spend time with friends.

• There are 24 hours in a day, I never forget that and you can tell by me having 2 jobs. There are also 24 hours in each weekday. Just so you know, it is NEVER too late or early to call me. Whether it is to chat or hangout, I am ready 24/7 even if the means you are spending time with me at work. (part of the reason I have a second job is because I have too much free time on my hands)

• For my friends who are a part of a couple. What do I care! Yes I am glad you have someone, and No I am not woe as me about not being exclusively with someone! I am, however, totally cool with hangin out with the both of you as a couple. Being a 3rd or 5th wheel has never bothered me, heck I’ve been doing it my whole life. I wanna still hang out with you whether or not your significant other is hanging with us too.

• When I think of friends my motto is “the more the merrier.” Meaning, I’m going to maintain as many friendships as humanly possible. Mostly because I need to, in order to not wear the others out. So invite me to hang out or meet your other friends. I promise to be nice and civil. I’ve even been known to crash an occasional wedding and have a good time. Ask my friends, I am good with meeting people. After all, how did we get to know each other?

Well I think that is all about my Saturday rant. After yet another Saturday spent without friends. GRRRRR

I am hoping, praying, and working towards making some more quality friendships. But come on people, you gotta help me out here!