In a Relationship

Written Wednesday, December 10, 2008

It doesn’t seem like such a big step, but now-a-days it seems to be an even steeper slope. Sure you’re going on dates, talking on the phone, and maybe you’ve even kissed. What do you do next?

If you’re truly interested in the other person, you want a relationship. It’s a choice that if it were given to you would happen sooner rather than later. It’s not just you’re choice though. There are two people involved in this equation. For some reason the other wants to just maintain the friends or just dating scenario.

You might find yourself wondering why? Why can’t we be officially together? Why must the other person hold back? Is it me, am I not the person for them? Is it that they are still playing the field or a commit-a-phobe?

Here are some of the scenarios that could be the cause of you not being in a relationship, if you are currently dating. One possible reason is definitely timing. Timing can be as simple as you were the first person they got introduced to or as complex as, I’m about to be moving away and the long distance thing won’t work.

I believe another reason some people take a long time to enter into a relationship is because of too many choices. I see the same thing when it comes to choosing a degree, there seems to be too many options and it is harder for some to make a decision in one way or another. I consider this a handicap of our generation, especially since internet dating is possible. My grandpa was about the only guy my granny knew who she wasn’t related to. So guess what they married and made it work.

Misunderstanding also comes into play, many times one person assumes that because you are a couple then that determines that you will have to get married in a year and a half. That’s not always the case. Guess what! Sometimes it takes being together to realize you shouldn’t be together.

It is important to understand that being in a relationship ie: being b/f and g/f, is a decision between two people. They are deciding to invest in each other in a romantic way and to give up investing in anyone else romantically. Believe it or not, that is huge. It’s much like giving actual permission to invest in the relationship. To spend time nurturing what could last for an extensive amount of time. Invest being the key word.

Consider becoming a couple similar to investing $500 in a stock when your income is $30,000 a year. You might have a little extra money but $500 is still a lil bit tough to just fork up all of the sudden. You could do so many other things with it but you choose to “invest” it. It may be tough, cause all your plans to change, and make your life a little less yours. In the end though, you believe it is worth it and that you will see a positive return.

It’s not always easy to make the decision to invest because there is the risk of it not working out. Causing you personal hurt, and it changes some of your concerns.

Many times though with good discernment and decision making, investing can be rewarding. Sure sometimes the market and relationships ride like a roller coaster. Times get scary and the economy sucks. The important part to remember is without the risk there is no chance of reward.