The People We Once Knew

I was looking at Myspace the other day, and caught myself checking out pictures of someone I once knew. We had went to school together since 2nd grade, I knew all of her siblings, her parents, her pets, a few stories about her life, and even her husband. Throughout the past few years I have heard some tidbits about what is going on with her and how she got there. Despite the fact that we remain friends on Myspace and Facebook, I don’t know her anymore.

I haven’t known her in a while; it feels good to think I’m in touch with her, in a very non-stalking way. That I know what she does for a living (I’m glad she is successful) and that she enjoys hanging out with her friends (I hope she is having fun). I even know what corner of the country she claims as home. But I don’t know her. The truth is we haven’t spoken in a couple of years. The last time was probably are random occurrence and I’m sure neither of us will see each other anytime in the next year and be able to “catch-up.”

Even if we did have a chance to talk, it will never be like it was. I don’t know what makes her happy or sad anymore. I have no clue who she hangs out with, what her goals are, what makes her tick. The reasons for the things she does, escaped me a long time ago. Her motives have probably changed and life has taught her lessons that I may not ever understand.

From the outside she looks like she is enjoying life (I believe she is). However, she may be struggling and I will never know it. All I know is the random status updates and tagged pictures. That’s all that exists of the person I once knew so well. So when asked “What she is doing with her life?” I can answer it partially. However, if I am asked “how is her life?” I have no clue. She is only a person I once knew.

Some People See the Best in People

Some people see the best in people; I see how they could be better. Any person that is placed in my surroundings, of course gets a first impression. Beyond the impression of how I take them, also comes the thought of how they could become better.

I suppose this could come from my counseling background. It feels though, as if its roots are so much deeper in my personality. Almost as if even as a young child I was seeing the better in people. Knowing that even if I felt injustice, at the time, it was only a lesson for them to learn so that they could become a better person.

My sensor is a little off sometimes when meeting people, because of this. I want to see everyone as safe or at least see them with the ability to be safe. I see their potential. Their ability to rise above their circumstances. To be something beyond what they are right now.

I understand that sometimes this can make it different to connect with me. It makes it seem almost as if I put an expectation on you from the very get go. My intention is not to set out to change people. People won’t change unless they want to, but sometimes just seeing that ability of them to change in the first place, will help them make that decision.

I’m not talking about the very first encounter, most of the time, but sometimes it starts without me even knowing it. For instance, I met a person one day that through our conversation I recognized them as a person that was afraid of finishing. I simply stated the fact to them, finished up the chit chat, and went along my way. I saw that person was able to become more than they were, within a 5 minute conversation.

It sort of becomes an underlying tone of my friendships and conversations with people. We laugh and joke about life then something happens in the middle of our sarcasm and we are all of the sudden talking about life lessons learned. I don’t even have specific expectations, nor do I require that people are a certain way around me. However, there is still an prospect of betterness for the both of us.

A betterness that if we go with it instead of fighting it, can improve our world, make us happier, and change our other relationships. It can be as simple as saying thank you and as complex as choosing to have a different outlook on life. Whatever it is, it can’t hurt can it? I mean couldn’t we all benefit from people who laugh more and strive to be the best person they can be?

Finding betterness kinda naturally occurs, in its own timing, with its own rules. Healthy individuals strive for betterness on their own. Sometimes we just need a little insight or encouragement. Which leads me to believe that it just might be okay to not just see the best in people, but to see how they could be better.

Where Am I Doing Here?

Tonight I sat and listened to live bluegrass music being played for a couple of hours. Here in Southeast Georgia that’s not an odd thing. It’s different to me though because in the year 2007, on a Saturday night, I would have been in some club dancing my booty off to hip hop music, wearin and outfit I just bought yesterday.

Times have changed and so have my activities. So much so that if has the tendency to freak out some of my Missouri friends. In one conversation, an old friend of mine was shocked that I lived such a low-key life now. That I don’t go out as much as I used to and shop less than ever. She even questioned what happened to me?

Sure I’ve traded in my some of my dancing shoes for flip flops. Maybe I shop less and relax more. My crew consists more of working professionals instead of professional workers. We party less, but know each other more. My decisions have even changed from being so spontaneous to being more processed and thought through. I even find myself people watching instead of being one of the people being watched.

I’m still me. Just me relocated. Any person put into a new environment will conform to their surroundings. I have conformed to laid-back beach music on Saturday nights and acoustic live music on Mondays in a courtyard. Sweet tea has become a staple, and I have become a seafood snob. I can still swagger with style and dress to the nines. Heck, I can even keep up with the best of them on the dance floor and teach em some moves from the Lou. I just do it differently and in different amounts now.

It’s because I live in a different place now. Where things aren’t as fast and expectations are different. Sure sometimes I still catch myself wondering what I am doing here and where exactly I am now. But for some reason I am okay with the difference. I’m still me after all, just in a different location.