Living a Life Free from Judgment

So many of us, especially us Christians, feel as if the things we do in life is judged by others. Maybe they are, maybe they aren’t. Maybe it is just what we perceive is judgment is our own guilt about our actions. Quite possibly nobody else is saying anything about it. They might not even know about it, yet some how we feel “judged.”

When we feel like we are being judged. We start to feel like people are looking for every reason to kick us down. As if nothing we do is right or if we do anything right, it is not good enough. Don’t get me wrong, this does happen, but sometimes it is just how we perceive the situation that makes us feel “judged.”

I live in an area now where they only pressure I have on me about my actions is the kind I put on myself. Sure people care if I’m out having a good time, but I am not “knocked” for being out having a good time. As long as my clothes are “cute” then they don’t have to be up to fashion (most of them are several years old). The friends I keep are my business, not someone else’s, and if they are going to snub their nose at me for the company I keep, then they can just not be part of the company I keep.

It is sort of like I have a life now free from most judgment. As if other people’s opinions matter even less to me. Sure their opinions will always be there, but as long as I’m happy with what I am doing and it isn’t hurting anyone else. I am free to live my life. Free to not feel “judged.” Freedom to take any judgment that is placed upon me and shrug it off with the understanding that they just don’t know and that’s their own problem. That is the only way I have found to really live a free life, it’s not that they quit judging, it’s that I quit caring about their irrational opinions.

The Insanity of Being Misunderstood

I used to say my biggest fear in life was rejection, I’ve now found an even bigger fear and frustration…Misunderstanding.

I’m a communicator, so it should be easier for me to get my point across, but that is not always the case. Too many times this giant blob of confusion comes between me the person I am trying to communicate with, and that blob makes a mess out of things. Even when the message is simple, something like, “Are you having a good day?” Then the blob gets involved and the person thinks I am assuming they are not allowed to have a good day or even worse that they are supposed to be having a bad day.

I’ve been trained on how to communicate with people, how to get my message to the receiver, how to receive messages myself with the most clarity, and how to minimize misunderstanding. The other difficulty however, lies in non-communication. Meaning, I say something and there is no response. Ahhhhhhhh!!! This is the worst form of communication for me, silence.

In this case, what does silence mean? I don’t think people understand sometimes how silence can be maddening to a communicator. I mean at least if they said something, then there would be a chance for rebuttal, for explanation, for interaction, for understanding, or even for frustration. To say nothing though…now that speaks amazing volumes. Creates its own kind of cacophony. It allows the mind to wonder and come up with so many ideas about what the answer is but leaves no explanation for the truth.

It feels like a misunderstanding that you can’t do anything about. Nothing…nothing can be done and your hands are tied. You have to sit there and wonder did they really get it? Hoping that the silence can be broken and wondering if there can be understanding.

If you let it, misunderstanding can take over your life. You find yourself constantly wondering if that statement came out okay. Did I really tell them what they needed to know? Have I really heard what they are saying? Is there part of the message they didn’t share, that could cause me to understand better? Could I have said anything more to help them understand what I was saying?

That is when misunderstanding is insanity. You may never know if you or anyone else has communicated fully the thoughts and ideas you meant to get across. Maybe we never do, maybe we just continue to try until it gets close enough to the truth. Why does it feel though as if I may never be understood to the fullest and may never understand anyone else as they mean to be understood? That thought to me is insanity.

Are You Strong Enough to be My Man?

Isn’t it interesting…Typically men are supposed to be the strong one’s in the relationship. They are to rescue the woman that is to be the weaker of the two. There is reason for her weakness and for his knight in shining armor, charade. A woman needs helped and needs security.

What if she is the strong one? What if she is the Wonder Woman, set out to save her Superman. Superman is rarely weak, but because of his human nature, he will struggle from time to time. He will need help and women are natural helpers. What if he lets her help him and do the rescuing for a change? Does this not disturb the natural balance? Is this necessary because of the society we live in now?

Do real men really need help? Do they need someone to teach them how to live less burden lives? Have they lived by their own messed up devices for so long now, that the only thing that can improve their lives is the touch of a woman? That really changes the meaning of, “Are you strong enough to be my man?” Sometimes it may even pose the question, “Are you strong enough to be my woman?”