Know Me

Many people do not know how or want to get to know people anymore. It is so much easier to just sit on the sidelines of life and not get hurt or dirty by interacting personally with others. Not that we have to get to know everyone and everything about them, but it is important to take a chance every once in a while.

I have taken plenty of chances in my life and still have plenty more to take. I don't claim to be an expert but I do believe I make a fair effort where one is due. Perhaps I take a more intentional approach at this than others because I am a more serious person. I suppose this is because you never know who might be your next casual acquaintance, good friend, or significant other. Sometimes all it takes is a little small talk and good listening to see who the other person really is.

The fun part is that you can get to know someone even when you both are totally goofing off and not being serious. It is as simple as taking in clues from what is said or done.

Why does it seem though that more often than not I'm the one getting to know the other person while they are just hanging out in the moment? Are so many meetings of people so shallow that people don't take the time anymore go deep enough to determine who the other person is? How selfish and impersonal is that?

I mean seriously, there are people that I have known for over a year that couldn't even tell you where I work or that I like to have a flexible social schedule. Not that everyone has to know those things about me but for someone not care enough for another human being that they see on a regular basis is just sad to me.

Oh and don't get me started on how this shows up in a dating situation. I know I'm not the type of person that will spill her guts at first meeting but if you're paying attention (even a little) I will tell you a ton of things about myself including the fact that I appreciate and respect honesty. Actually I encourage it as well as responsiveness. Though apparently that alludes some people that I've dated and somehow they totally missed that. Really? You missed that? I mean after a year of on and off dating you never figured that out?

In that type situation all I can say is "you never even tried to get to know me." Not once, otherwise you would probably be able to at least know how to talk to me or know to talk to me and how important that is.

What do call that? What do you call the general disrespect of a follow individual? So much disrespect that you actually put your personality characteristics on them because you don't know enough about them to know they are nothing like you.

In the words of Stephanie Tanner from Full House "How rude!" People come with all different types of personalities and to believe automatically that someone is just like you when evidence proves otherwise is incredibly narcissistic. More than that you are cheating them out of the human right to be understood and lumping them into a group where they do not belong.

Think about yourself. Do you want to be lumped into some group and stereotyped? Wouldn't you rather have someone notice special facts about you? Isn't it more personal to show care and concern for who others are as individuals?

I know in the circle of people I hang out with and especially people that I would consider dating, I prefer that the other person at least attempt to get to know me. It helps me know that their actions are intentional. It also helps me see if they have the ability to care about others and think about someone besides themself from time to time. Truthfully, though doesn't everyone at some point appreciate a conversation or situation when they can leave saying, "that person really does know me."

Why don't we take the chance then or opportunity? How about we try to listen up a little better or verify our facts from time to time? Can we not take the opportunity to close our mouths long enough that we can actually take in what the other person is saying? I believe if we did it would be a rarer occasion that we'd hear the complaint "You don't even know me."