A Walk in the Park vs. the Venus Fly Trap Stance- Why aren’t Guys Required to Change?

I just finished reading an article about another book written from a woman to women about why they aren’t married yet. Although, the items listed in the article were very good points; I still do not understand why there is yet another piece of nonfiction written about how a woman needs to change something to be in a relationship.


Please do not misinterpret what I’m saying here. I’m not saying every woman should be in a relationship regardless of their flaws because all of us (men and women) need to do a little repair from time to time. Rather I am saying why do women have be near perfection before a guy will look her way and guys are just allowed to be who they already are.

The next questions that come to my mind are: Why do women accept men for who they are without requiring some kind of change prior to being in a relationship with them? Why aren’t our standards higher so that if they are not meeting our criteria we want we don’t even look their way? Can we not require higher standards? If we do require higher standards will they be met?

In my realm of conversation I’ve heard both guys and girls complaints about singleness. However, I can definitely say when a guy talks about singleness he’s not talking about how he needs to be more of a gentleman, get rid of his bad habit of fill in the blank, or change his irrational thought that the woman he is going to marry is going to be a 36-24-36 type. Instead he is usually saying why do these girls have such unrealistic standards as: I should have a job, I should go to church, I should pay for meals, and/or we should talk on a regular basis. He might also be saying with words or by his actions that his clothing, conversation topics, and commitment level are his own business. Sometimes he’s even says, I should get laid by x or y time period or I’m out.

Guess what? There is no one out there writing a bunch of books about why this dude should change in order to get a woman. Instead it seems that guys are just allowed to be whomever they are and still get to have a woman. Then after he has that woman in his terms of the relationship, she’s crazy if she wants him to change something about who he is. Do you see part of the problem here?

It’s almost as if all I guy has to do to get into a relationship is to take a walk in the park. If a woman wants to be in a relationship she must be in Venus Fly Trap stance with the perfect look, smell, and location in order to perhaps catch a guy. What is up with the double standard here? Why don’t guys have to change?